Back to the Blackboard: Play My Favorite Song!
One problem I find with playing cover gigs is handling bar patrons that demand I play their favorite song, even after I politely say, “I don’t know how to play [insert song here].” [Usually, this request is for Creed.]
Some people won’t stop. They will say, “Come on man! You know it!” Others get mad. Many times they continue their request while I’m in the middle of playing a song.
My new tactic to end the conversation is to publicly compare said bar patron to my math teacher in fourth grade, Sr. Aquila. Sr. Aquila would make me stand at the board and demand me to do a math problem or spell a word I didn’t know. Making me stand at the blackboard didn’t make the ability to spell a word appear in my head, yelling at me to play a song didn’t make it appear in my head either.
When I end with, “Please don’t be like St. Aquila,” this statement usually gets them to go away with a chuckle. I recognize this will one day backfire and get me punched in the face, but for the time being, I’m happy to share my elementary school anecdote.
