The story of “Those Shoes”: Giving in to the Song

I enjoy road testing songs before going into the studio. Performing a new song adds an incredible boast of energy to a set, like a shot of espresso. Also, if the song can withstand the road, it can hold up in the studio.

But one song from A World That’s Bigger wasn’t played live before I recorded it. “Those Shoes” was unheard, excluding a few songwriters in my songwriting group.

I wrote it in 2014 after Nat and I lost our first pregnancy. I didn’t return to it for two years.

Then in 2016, we lost another pregnancy close to the second trimester, totally taken by surprise; and the healing process drew me back to the song. I finished the outro one quiet, winter afternoon when I had the house to myself.
By May of 2016, I had the full map of the record planned out. The other nine songs were embedded in in my bones from constant practice and gigging, but “Those Shoes” was still a stranger in the house.

My fingers weren’t confident with the simple finger-picking pattern. My voice wasn’t sure how to approach the microphone. I felt unprepared to try to record this song.

But I knew it needed to be on the record.

Mike Gentry and I were deep into day two of recording at the cabin, when I approached a few takes of “Those Shoes.” It didn’t going well. Just like I was powerless to the experience, I felt powerless to getting the song on tape… 

Plus, I was recording this entire record live. If I made a mistake, I had to do it again; and again; and again. Playing “Those Shoes” over and over left me emotionally exhausted. “I don’t know if I’m going to be able to do this.” Gentry said, ‘Let’s take a break.”

We made some tea, and he offered advice: “Try backing off. Sing it really lightly.”

I sat back down on the chair, and practically whispered the first lines:

“We’ve had a rough stretch/ our tired arms are powerless…”

Gentry was right. The song needed a light intention. I didn’t need to be aggressive on the guitar, or push my voice…I had to give into the experience.

We did three or four more takes, and got the one that ended up on the record.

Ginny’s going to be a big sister in June. I wish I could go back in time to 2014 and tell myself it was going to be OK. We are filling those shoes.

* * * * *

“Those Shoes”

We’ve had a rough stretch
Our tired arms are powerless
To what comes next
To what comes next

We lost a heartbeat
A secret kept between our feet
I was stepping back
I was stepping back

This pain won’t last
This pain won’t last
I know…

I’m tired, yet I can’t sleep
My mind has more than I can keep
To myself
To myself

I know there’s more that I could do
To sooth your pain and comfort you
I’m reaching out
I’m reaching out

This pain won’t last
This pain won’t last
I know…

And if we share our fears in twos
Could we have filled those shoes?

And if we share our fears in twos
Could we have filled those shoes?

We’ve had a rough stretch