On Saturday night, a person tried to steal guitar equipment out of my car while I was packing up after a gig. I was in a very nice suburb at a fancy restaurant north of Grand Rapids. The robber was unsuccessful for reasons that will be described below; and the event reminds me to ALWAYS close the doors and lock the car no matter how quickly I think I’ll be back out.

You see, packing the car after gigs is a pain. Even solo gigs take me six to eight trips, back and forth. It involves constant balancing of awkward things in my hands while opening bar doors, unlocking car doors, opening car doors, lifting things up, putting them down again, etc. Plus, the equipment needs to happen in a certain order for things to go in the car correctly, like a Tetris game.

Remember when Homer loads in his family into the car like a Tetris game? This is how my guitars feel three nights a week.

During Saturday night’s packing session, I was inattentively taking stuff to my car out-of-order. (First mistake!) The boxes and speakers must go first, guitars last. For some reason, I did this in the opposite order.

So flash forward to my story: My car was parked right next to the bar’s front door. I was in a big hurry and only had  two items left to carry to the car, my mic box and my large box of miscellaneous stuff (speaker cables, music stand, etc.). I tried to stack these two boxes on top each other and take them to my car in one trip, but by the time I got to the bar’s front door, my arms were like, “Are you serious?”

I gave up and decided to take each box one at a time. I left the larger box by the bar’s front door, and I carried my mic box to the car. I then left my car’s hatchback open, and I turned around to make the 30 second walk back to the door to get the last box.

Next thing I know, a scraggly dude in his late teens or early 20s is running up to the back my car! This guy must have been watching me carrying stuff out the whole time, and he thought I was going back into the bar. But when he saw me returning seconds later, he freaked out and he lost sight of where he was running. He hilariously nailed his head on my car’s half-opened hatchback door.

Basically, my car’s door clotheslined the asshole. I would have laughed if I wasn’t so freaked out. The guy ran away without any of my gear and drove away before I could get a read of his license plate. He was driving a white pick-up truck.

Anyways, this event has reminded me to be more cautious and attentive to my loading in routine.

Loading gear is a pain, even more for band gigs than solo gigs!